Lambchop Kerman

Lambchop Kerman

Template:PeopleLambchop Toren Kerman, born on the 7th of May 2028, served as the Councillor of Nomlas for over 26 years until his disappearence.

Political Career and Views

Entrance into Politics

Lambchop's political career began accidentally in the year 2049, when a radical Sarconian nationalist group led a terrorist attack on Blay Street, armed with rifles and knives. Lambchop, who was enjoying a late night out at the local pub The Blithering Toenail, reacted with complete indifference to the sound of gunfire and screaming, until a rogue bullet shattered his glass of whisky.

Witnesses recounted the following events with awe and slight confusion. "He was like a f***ing animal," Steve Kerman, a local resident, recalled on a live news report. "One moment the attacker was there, then suddenly there was a deafening roar and a green blur, and then the terrorist was on the ground with no arms and what I'm pretty sure was a chair leg shoved down his throat."

A video emerged of the attack, and media praised him as a "Somewhat Deranged yet Effective Hero". As the Aquarian Unification War died down, and elections for new "Councillor" positions were scheduled to start, Lambchop, completely misreading the situation and seeing an opportunity, entered himself as a candidate.

Though he had some supporters, (his family, some friends in it for a laugh, and a couple homeless guys he'd threatened into holding up promotional posters) his campaign lacked traction, and he was behind in initial polls. His unpopularity was compounded by an appearance on a nationally televised candidate debate, which he appeared to extremely drunk, and attempted to re-enact his infamous take down of the terrorist on his main political rival. Analysts predicted him to get "7 votes, maybe 8 if he's lucky", and his career in politics seemed doomed to fail.

However, the tables turned when evidence of several of the most supported candidate's corruption emerged, forcing them to pull out. In the resulting vacuum, Lambchop surged ahead, though the people had not fully got behind him. The turning point was a broadcast assembly of all remaining candidates, at which Lambchop stepped up and delivered an impassioned speech, talking of a unified Aquaria capable of standing up to any threat, with its citizens free and expanding into the stars. It was very well received by the media and the public, his votes nearly doubled in the last few days before election day, and in an incredibly close vote he beat Derver and Gregford Kerman to become the Councillor of Nomlas, to nationwide confusion.

Only later was it discovered that Lambchop had stumbled up to the wrong podium, and recited a competitor’s sheet of notes.

Early Career

Now suddenly, and accidentally, thrust into the spotlight, Lambchop reacted the only way he knew how. Very badly, with lots of alcohol, and with little thought to consequences.